Siesta, Retirement, and Work
And old tale. An American was visiting a small village in Mexico. He came across a young man sitting in a chair on the sidewalk while children played all around him. The American was put off by this laziness. So he talked to the man. “Why aren’t you working?” asked the American. “I have already […]
Life Can Be a Grind
Did you hear about the optician who backed into the lens grinder? He made a spectacle of himself. —– Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.
The Accountant and The Sheep
(No, this isn’t that kind of joke.) —– Did you hear about the accountant with insomnia? He decided to try counting sheep, but he made a mistake and was up all night trying to find it!
Ruth
My favorite humorous poem: Ruth rode on my motorbike Directly back of me. I hit a bump at 65 and rode on Ruthlessly.
Fish and Chips
A monastery decided to start a fish and chips store. When the store opened, a client come in and asks one of the clerics, “Are you the fish fryer?” “Oh no,” replies the cleric, “I’m the Chip Monk.”
So this duck goes into a pharmacy . . .
So this duck goes into a pharmacy. He puts some Chapstick on the counter, and the pharmacist says, Do you want me to put that on your bill?
I used to think my uncle was a magician . . .
I used to think my uncle was a magician. He’d be walking down the street and suddenly he’d turn into a bar.
One from Schrag
David sent me this one. A team of surgeons works for sixteen hours straight to separate a pair of Siamese twins. The operation is a complete success and they go across the street to a bar to celebrate. The bartender looks up at them and asks “what’ll you halve?”
So these jumper cables go into a bar . . .
So these jumper cables go into a bar . . . and the bar tender says: “You can come in. Just don’t start anything.”
So this sandwich walks into a bar . . .
So this sandwich walks into a bar And the bartender says “Hey buddy, we don’t serve food in here.”
