Habits of the Mind
by Archibald Hart
Why Not? How to Use Everyday Ingenuity to Solve Problems Big and Small
by Barry J. Nalebuff, Ian Ayres
Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude
by W. Clement Stone
Look for the authors above on Amazon.com, at book sales, or at your favorite web site. Amazon and others offer used books and tapes as well as new.
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Balance is the key to personal and professional success.
Knowing your goals and the path to achieve them is essential.
Being successful takes practice and dedication.
"Pay more attention to the substance of feedback than the intention."
-- Karl W. Palachuk
"Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger."
-- Franklin P. Jones
"I like people to come back and tell me what I did wrong. That's the kindest thing you can do."
-- Lilian Gish
"Criticism is the child and handmaid of reflection. It works by censure and censure implies a standard."
-- Richard G. White
"It takes relaxation--and focus--to create and understand the balance in our lives."
-- Karl W. Palachuk
Relax, Focus, Succeed was written for me… well… for anyone “like” me who’s ever had more to do or fires to put out than hands to pull out your own hair with. And since we’ve all been there at some point; this book will speak to you. Karl’s book reveals an escape from the ‘powering thorough’ that we do every day to get through a multitude of life without ever really ‘living’.
Relax, Focus, Succeed takes the reader down to the core of what makes us who we are and walks us through figuring out what we really want in life, how to maintain our center and create a well-balanced, happy, successful life. Karl is motivational and inspiring.
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I had the pleasure of attending a presentation by Karl Palachuk and found myself taking notes. His philosophy is that we need to slow down, take care of ourselves, and reprioritize our lives. I am guilty of being a workaholic and never feel like I'm accomplishing as much in a day as I should. But this is the first time I have ever given myself permission to take care of myself first--not to mention to enjoy my family and friends more.
And Karl was right, the work isn't going anywhere and the world won't stop spinning if I let it sit for awhile. This book is a true inspiration! I now schedule workouts into my schedule every day--something I never considered before. But I realized that I will be more productive in the long run if I'm taking care of myself. This is GREAT STUFF!
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Karl has outdone himself in this book. I started reading this at a stop light and had to pull over and finish two chapters before halting my day and going home to finish the book. There are many practical and meaningful applications that are just helpful. I was pushing the limits of bad health and very bad overwork habits. This book has helped me tremendously. This book ranks with the quality of the E-myth.
You will pick this book up and have a hard time putting it down!
B. Vincent "Ben"
Auburn Hills, MI
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Are you ready for some honest feedback? Probably not.
In this month's newsletter we'll take a look at why that is. Don't worry. There's nothing personal here. We're all humans and subject to standard human reactions.
Personally, I've had a busy, good month. The economy has us all a little nervous. But the trees are starting to bloom in California. Despite the fact that we "need" the rain so that there will be snow in the hills and water for the Summer, the brave flowers are beginning to poke their noses out of the ground.
In other words: Life continues along its merry way. I'm glad to be along for the ride.
As always, I appreciate and welcome your feedback.
Thanks for reading.
I welcome your feedback. Thank you, as always.
Feedback without A Clear Personal Mission is Just Criticism
I'm not sure how "accepting feedback from others" became a trait that our society values and encourages.
Most of us have some very negative feelings around feedback. Even when we say we're open to it, our first reaction is to be defensive. Our first reaction is to justify ourselves and explain why we are the way we are.
And when someone else says they want your feedback, aren't you just a little worried about what the reaction will be when you give feedback? No. You're a lot worried! :-)
So what's the deal with feedback?
First, consider the difference between criticism and feedback. At some level, these are the same thing. We tend to put a negative connotation on criticism. But when you're in the right frame of mind, criticism can be great feedback!
The difference on the part of the sender is whether they intend to be helpful or just point out faults. The difference on the part of the recipient is whether they're in a frame of mind to listen and apply the feedback.
So the difference that matters is on the part of the recipient. You can get feedback from a lot of sources, including messages the sender doesn't intend to send, like a smile or an eyebrow twitch.
Second, consider how feedback is processed. If you have a Vision or a Mission, then feedback can be extremely valuable. In fact, you will seek it out at every opportunity and implement it as quickly as possible.
If you're working with a vision or mission, then you will have specific goals you're working on. Feedback will allow you to fine-tune your work to maximize your goals. This is true in your personal life, your business life, your family life, etc.
If you're working on a specific trait and someone gives you feedback, you will accept it even if it was not intended to be helpful. You've heard it said that your best advice can come from your enemies. That's only true if you're willing to listen.
If you don't have a vision then feedback is useless. If I give you feedback on your golf swing but you're not working on your golf swing, you won't care.
If you hear feedback on parenting, but you don't have a goal to be a better parent, then you won't care.
The same is true of improving your professional skills, your community organizing skills, and every other aspect of your life.
Third, when receiving feedback, try to be open and not defensive. Keep your vision in mind. If the feedback speaks to a vision or goal you have, then be grateful and think about how you can integrate this feedback.
You might even make a point of writing down the feedback. That will make it easier to remember, and easy to work into your morning quiet time or meditation. When you sit down to consider your mission and your goals for various parts of your life, having this feedback available will give you a kick-start.
One of the biggest ways that we harm ourselves is by having an initial negative reaction to feedback. This is natural. We're defensive because someone is focusing on what we can do better. We're all more comfortable working on what other people can do better!
Having a "partner" helps a lot! For example, if you run, play tennis, swim, or do some other activity with a partner, you find that the two of you can give and receive advice very openly because you share a vision about what you want to achieve.
The same is true with other goals. If you give people at work permission to keep in line with regard to dieting, cleanliness, or some other goals, then you'll be more open to feedback. And, once you demonstrate openness, they'll be more likely to help you.
Fourth, when offering advice to others, keep their goals in mind. In fact, it is very helpful to put the two together. For example:
"I know you're working on better communication skills. You seemed to be looking at the screen a lot more than the audience. More eye contact would help a lot."
We don't always know what other people's goals are. That suggests that we should consider whether it's useful to give them feedback at all. Just because you think I should be working on something doesn't mean I am. So when I get unsolicited advice on how to improve myself, I might have a negative reaction.
In the big-big picture, there's not much you can do for other people unless they've asked for your help. But there's a lot you can do for yourself.
- Have a vision for your success
- Set specific goals
- Be open to feedback (or criticism), even if you didn't specifically ask for it
- Pay more attention to the substance of the feedback than the intention. In other words, learn from your adversaries as well as your allies.
- Try to react positively to feedback
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That's it for this issue.
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I welcome your feedback.
This is one of the best books I have ever read, I have many on business motivation as well as many for your personal life and these seem to contradict each other. Karl shows you how to create the necessary balance in your life. I did not realize how much unnecessary stress I was causing myself until Karl pointed it out, this made an immediate impact in my life in all three areas Personal, Family and Business. I highly recommend this book especially for anyone trying to run their own business.
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The most important thing Karl's book did for me was to remind me of how important it is to relax in order to be successful. Too often we get so busy that we forget to take time to relax in order to focus our minds and thereby succeed. Karl's exercises throughout the book are very practical.
Sue Lynn Canfield
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I love the way Karl's book makes powerful and grounded statements. He is motivational, informative and hits the nail on the head. I recommend his book highly and I recommend it to my clients who are working toward more balance and relaxation in their lives.
Jenifer Novak Landers
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I will be rereading this book constantly until I get every habit fully ingrained in my head. I am off to buy a notebook for my "quite time".
Thank you Karl!
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I have read, and re-read this book from cover to cover. Its a fantastic book.
This book shows you how to do as the title says Relax, Focus and Succeed.
Brilliant book . . . highly recommended.
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