For ten years I played a consistently mediocre game of racquetball. I
got to a certain level and, no matter how much I played, I didn’t get any
better. Then one day I took a free clinic at our racquet club and learned
the proper way to hold the racquet! My game improved instantly. I
could serve more accurately and with a great deal more power. I finally
understood how the really powerful players made it sound like a gun going
off when they served.
The basic problem was
that I had taught myself “a” way to hold the racquet, but I had not
learned “the right way” to hold the racquet.
I used to play with a
guy who was raised in South Africa and went to school in England. He had
played racquetball his entire life. I don’t know why he played with me
except out of pity. He always knew where the ball was going. He could
instinctively judge the position and speed of the ball, along with my
movements, so he knew just where I’d hit the ball. He would walk over
there and wait for it. Believe me, I got a lot more exercise than he did!
Let me clarify the use
of the word “instinctively.” My friend had learned from thirty years of
playing racquetball. He had a vision of the game that I never developed.
And he had “muscle memory” so that he didn’t have to consciously decide
which backhand shot to use or make a decision of how soft to hit the ball
so it barely touched the front wall and then died.
In all athletic
activity, we practice building muscle memory so that we can advance to the
next level. Tennis players, golfers, weight lifters, and ballerinas all
practice over and over so that they don’t have to think about every muscle
move when the time comes.
As the father of a
gymnast I watched for years as my daughter did cartwheels along a
straight piece of tape on the floor. And when it came time to do a
cartwheel on a beam, she could! Of course, on a real beam there are
additional skills to learn. The basic process of doing a cartwheel
flawlessly on a straight line was now part of her subconscious activity—it
was muscle memory. Now she could work on the next challenge.
Working on success,
relaxation, and focus, also require this level of practice. You need to
develop a sort of “Muscle Memory for Success.” This has two
parts.
First, you need to
tune into the skills you learned wrong so you can re-learn them the
right way.
Second, you need to
practice the skills of success at your current level so you can
move to the next level.
Unlearning What You
Learned Wrong
When I learned
racquetball, I held the racquet wrong at the beginning because I wanted to
play the game. But holding the racquet incorrectly became a habit
and soon enough it felt right to me. I couldn’t move up to the next level
until I moved back and relearned this skill.
Some people need to
relearn communication skills or unlearn the habit of watching TV all
night. Some need to unlearn wasteful spending habits and others need to
unlearn the over-eating habit.
Take a moment and
write down three or four things that you need to un-learn or re-learn the
right way. Be patient with yourself. Remember, the muscle memory of
success takes time. You may have developed a habit a long time ago and
practiced it for ten years. You won’t be able to re-learn that
overnight. It is comfortable, even if you know it’s wrong. To begin the
process of re-learning, you will need to set some goals and begin
practicing your new habits.
This is precisely the
kind of activity that makes daily reflection useful. If you take ten
minutes every day to review your goals for the day, you’ll bring attention
to your new undertaking. Focusing on your goals will bring them into your
conscious mind and make your practice easier each day.
Develop New Skills
of Success
Once you’ve
established some goals and are focused forward on your own success, then
you need to develop new skills of success: Taking time to relax; working
hard when no one’s looking; reading (reading, reading, reading); improving
you job skills; goal-setting on a regular basis; exercising; and so
forth.
Most of us
instinctively know what we need to do to be successful, but it’s easier to
sleep in as late as possible, come home from work and plop down in front
of the TV, sit like vegetables all night, and then do it all again the
next day.
It takes
discipline—and practice—to get up a little early, exercise, spend quiet
time focusing on your goals for the day, reading in the evening, and
consciously work on your success.
You also have to
get to know the skills of success. You need to focus on the actions
you take and acknowledge when you have a success. When you experience a
success of any size, stop and savor it. Consider how it feels. How did
you get here? How would you do it again? It feels good, doesn’t it?
You need to focus on
the feelings and actions of your success—these are your muscles of
success. In order to exercise these muscles you have to be familiar with
them.
You also must learn to
use these “muscles” before you need them. Just like knowing the fire
exits before the alarm goes off: You need to know how to use your muscles
of success when the time comes.
Perhaps the hardest
thing for most people to learn is relaxation. Most people have never
spent time being wakeful and restful at the same time. There is great
value in calming your mind and focusing on the moment. The more stressful
the situation, the more important you will find this practice. But you
can’t practice when there’s a stressful situation (like an irate customer
yelling on the phone). You need to practice your calming technique before
you need it. Then when you need it, it will be there for you. Your
muscles will know what you want them to do.
Start
today: Make a list of things you need to un-learn or re-learn. Make a
list of successful practices you will work on. Then set aside the time
and begin building muscle memory in the muscles of success.
