My wife, Laura, talked me into taking a class on relaxation
a few years ago. She had taken it and was quite impressed with the
techniques. Like everything else, the basic technique is simple—It’s
the daily effort to practice that’s difficult.
The major part of this relaxation technique involves
breathing. While sitting comfortably, legs uncrossed, hands open,
and eyes closed, the instructor talked the class through some breathing
exercises. We focused our attention on our hands, feet, head, and
each body part in turn.
As we focused our attention, and gave each joint and muscle
“permission to relax,” we did breathing exercises. First a few deep
breaths to clear our minds and pull a little extra oxygen into the blood.
This “cleansing breath” is relaxing by itself. This is followed by a
period of breathing in to the count of four and out to the count of eight,
which serves to hold the focus on breathing.
After some practice, these breathing techniques lead to a
very refreshing, relaxed feeling.
I was originally convinced to take the class as an aid to
dealing with the constant pain of rheumatoid arthritis. Oddly
enough, the first time I did a relaxation exercise in class I experienced
an increase in pain in my hands and feet.
When the instructor asked what people had experienced, I
mentioned this increased pain. He said that this is normal. We
block a great of pain all the time. As I made the effort to relax
the muscles and joints, I allowed my mind to relax as well and stop
blocking the pain.
Interestingly, the overall effect was still relaxing and
refreshing and enjoyable. The pain I was blocking was not much worse
than the pain I was consciously experiencing. Our natural defense
mechanisms know that pain is bad and therefore we block it. Or, more
accurately, our mind blocks it on our behalf.
But there is a difference between pain and
suffering. Pain tells us information we need to know. We
often change our behavior to reduce pain. We adjust our exercise
routine, or how we lift something, or the way we work. This is good.
But fear of pain can keep us from doing things we should
do. Focusing on the pain can help us to understand how much we
should be adjusting our behavior. Sometimes the pain is simply a
minor irritation and we should work through it. At other times the
pain is limiting and we need to back off and respect it.
In addition to the physical pain, our mind also blocks some
types of mental or emotional pain. We lessen the pain by altering
our memories, numbing our reactions, and literally “blocking out” certain
painful events. Breathing techniques can help people to understand
the pain and learn to live with it.
I was surprised at how some simple breathing techniques can
help in dealing with pain.
I began dong breathing/relaxing exercises regularly.
I even set an alarm so I don’t get carried away or fall asleep.
Since that time, I have explored several types of
relaxation techniques. These include praying, meditation, journal
writing, other writing, and reading contemplative books.
Breathing should be the basis of all “quiet time.”
There are many ways to relax and let your body rejuvenate. They
should all start by getting comfortable and taking some deep cleansing
breaths.
Try it now quickly. Sit comfortably. Close your
eyes. Breathe in, through your nose, to a count of four. Hold
it for a count of four. Then breathe out (through the mouth) to a
count of eight. Next, take a few normal breaths and then repeat the
4-4-8 cleansing breath.
As you keep your eyes closed and sit calmly, try to focus
on your body parts. Breathe normally and focus on your head for a
few minutes. Then your neck and shoulders; your back; your chest and
stomach; your arms and wrists and hands and fingers; your thighs and hips;
your legs and ankles, feet and toes.
As you move your awareness through your body, you will
eventually begin to feel a tingling or a “glow” as you pay attention to
your breathing and your body. A glowing feeling in the fingers and
toes/hands and feet is the most common.
The feeling is completely calming, completely relaxing.
As you become more experienced at relaxation breathing, you will slip more
quickly into a deeply relaxed state. The body will begin to be
comfortable with this new exercise and you will be able to achieve greater
relaxation with only a few deep breaths.
Eventually, the ability to relax will become “portable."
A few breaths under any circumstances and your body will relax—because it
knows the routine.
The physiology of relaxation breathing is quite amazing.
You lower your pulse and blood pressure—instantly. I have a heart
rate monitor that I use while exercising. While riding my exercise
bicycle one day I decided to measure my ability to reduce my heart rate.
After warming up and getting deep in the aerobic zone—a
pulse of 140—I tried it. While maintaining the same pace I closed my
eyes and took three cleansing breaths. I was able to drop my pulse
by 12 points instantly!
Now I play a game at the doctor’s office. You know
how they take your blood pressure even if you come in for a stubbed toe?
I decided to try my relaxation exercises there. It works like a
charm. I always ask how I did and the nurses usually comment that my
blood pressure is “very good.” I can usually bring it to 100/50.
In addition to permanently lowering your blood pressure,
relaxation breathing has other benefits.
In any stressful situation, a few breaths will calm you and
help you focus on what’s important. For example, when you go into a
performance review, a job interview, or a meeting with a difficult person.
Take a few deep cleansing breaths and relax. It won’t make you
perfectly relaxed, but it will help.
In many situations you don’t want to be perfectly
relaxed—you want to keep your edge. But a few deep breaths can take
you one step toward relaxation and increase your focus. You
can gain an edge by viewing the situation at a slightly slower pace and
viewing things as they really are.
With adrenaline coursing through your body, you can become
a bit more focused, but also more agitated. Breathing techniques
help you to step back from the edge, maintain control, and focus your mind
more accurately on your objectives.
There’s an old adage that the first one to lose his temper
also loses the argument (or fight or negotiation). Breathing
properly gives you the power to stay focused and not lose your temper.
We all have experiences we wish we could live over.
“I wish I hadn’t lost my temper.” Or cried, or stormed out, or used
those words. Focusing—doing the right thing—not being carried away
by the emotions and stress of the moment. That’s what we want.
That's what we need to succeed.
Very often we see examples of “greatness” in which the hero
is the person who “had the presence of mind” to do the right thing.
Or it was the person who “kept her wits about her” when everyone else
panicked.
Relaxation does not mean going to sleep. It can be a
simple step back from “the edge” of stress or panic or overwhelming
emotions. Relaxation brings focus. It brings control and
rationality and a constant awareness of why we are engaged in a specific
activity. It keeps us pointed toward our goals and keeps things in
perspective.
You need that adrenaline. And the stress. They
push us and motivate us and give us strength we might not otherwise have.
But they can also kill us. Relaxation breathing brings focus.
It gives us the power to turn every action, every meeting, every event to
our advantage. With focus you can turn everything you do into a
piece of the puzzle that will be your success. Focus and
every action you take will be a step toward your own success.
Channel your energy and other people’s energy toward your
success. If you stay focused, you will have success. If you
know how to relax you will stay focused.
And hence . . .
Relax
Focus
Succeed®
